- dishonor your forefathers
- grow a beard/long hair
- treat your wife as your equal
- become an hellenophile
- adopt asian customs
- redistribute the public land to the poor and homeless in Rome
- Be a bottom
More you might like
don’t let tumblr make you think that it is okay to
Hahahae…
Hi my name is Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde and I have long ebony black hair with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like walt whitman (AN: if u don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to achilles but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie. I’m a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I’m also a playwrite, and I live in a magic place called London in England. I’m an aesthete (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly green. I love green carnations and I wear them every day. For example today I was wearing a black suit with matching lace around it and a black leather cape, a green carnation and black combat boots. I was walking outside my house. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. The marquess de Queensberry stared at me. I put up my middle finger at him.
ancient literature as onion headlines
- the iliad: Area Man Expected To Work With These Incompetents
- the odyssey: Prodigal Asshole Returns
- the aeneid: Man Who Thought He'd Lost All Hope Loses Last Additional Bit Of Hope He Didn't Even Know He Still Had
- the satyricon: I Fucked My Way Into This Mess, And I'll Fuck My Way Out
- medea: Relationship Not A Power Struggle, Woman Who's Winning Reports
- the bacchae: Area Man Just In Bad Mood Because He’s Tired And An Awful Human Being
- iphigenia at aulis: Guests Forced To Pretend Wedding A Good Thing
- agamemnon: Study Finds Expressing Anger In Unhealthy Ways Incredibly Satisfying
- oedipus the king: True Courage Is Knowing You're Wrong But Refusing To Admit It
- herodotus's histories: Historians Admit To Inventing Ancient Greeks
- the poetry of catullus: Relationship Definitely Hurtling Toward Something
- the ars amatoria: Man's Relationship Advice Same As His Hunting Tips
- the speeches of cicero: Here Are All Of My Opinions
- the epigrams of martial: Come On, Lighten Up, I'm Just Being A Total Asshole
Anonymous asked:
how gay was nick carraway?
boykeats answered:
he head over heels absolutely pined after jay gatsby’s rich, shady, unobtainable ass for the whole novel. literally every guy he met he described with almost melodramatic admiration. also remember that scene where he wiped shaving cream off a sleeping guy’s face? nick carraway was full gay
my favorite thing i’ve learned in college is that way back in ancient china there was this poet/philosopher guy who wrote this whole pretentious poem about how enlightened he was that was like “the eight winds cannot move me” blahblahblah and he was really proud of it so he sent it to his friend who lived across the lake and then his friend sends it back and just writes “FART” (or the ancient Chinese equivalent) on it and he was SO MAD he travels across the lake to chew his friend out and when he gets there his friend says “wow. the eight winds cannot move you, but one fart sends you across the lake”
i googled this bc i desperately wanted this to be real, and guess what…it is.
the dude’s name was su dongpo (also known as su shi). his original poem went like this:
稽首天中天，
毫光照大千，
八風吹不動，
端坐紫金蓮
(Humbly bowed my head below all skies
Minutest lights shine through my deepest bounds
Immovable by strong winds from eight sides
Upon purplish gold lotus I seated straightly by the low mound) (x)
on which his friend wrote “放屁” (fart, literally), and you know the rest.
(here’s a chinese source for the skeptics)
55 Question Book-Related Survey
Drop a number in my ask and I’ll answer any of these book-related questions! :D
1. Favorite childhood book?
2. What are you reading right now?
3. What books do you have on request at the library?
4. Bad book habit?
5. What do you currently have checked out at the library?
6. Do you have an e-reader?
7. Do you prefer to read one book at a time, or several at once?
8. Have your reading habits changed since starting a blog?
9. Least favorite book you read this year (so far?)
10. Favorite book you’ve read this year?
11. How often do you read out of your comfort zone?
12. What is your reading comfort zone?
13. Can you read on the bus?
14. Favorite place to read?
15. What is your policy on book lending?
16. Do you ever dog-ear books?
17. Do you ever write in the margins of your books?
18. Not even with text books?
19. What is your favorite language to read in?
20. What makes you love a book?
21. What will inspire you to recommend a book?
22. Favorite genre?
23. Genre you rarely read (but wish you did?)
24. Favorite biography?
25. Have you ever read a self-help book?
26. Favorite cookbook?
27. Most inspirational book you’ve read this year (fiction or non-fiction)?
28. Favorite reading snack?
29. Name a case in which hype ruined your reading experience.
30. How often do you agree with critics about a book?
31. How do you feel about giving bad/negative reviews?
32. If you could read in a foreign language, which language would you chose?
33. Most intimidating book you’ve ever read?
34. Most intimidating book you’re too nervous to begin?
35. Favorite poet?
36. How many books do you usually have checked out of the library at any given time?
37. How often have you returned book to the library unread?
38. Favorite fictional character?
39. Favorite fictional villain?
40. Books I’m most likely to bring on vacation?
41. The longest I’ve gone without reading.
42. Name a book that you could/would not finish.
43. What distracts you easily when you’re reading?
44. Favorite film adaptation of a novel?
45. Most disappointing film adaptation?
46. The most money I’ve ever spent in the bookstore at one time?
47. How often do you skim a book before reading it?
48. What would cause you to stop reading a book half-way through?
49. Do you like to keep your books organized?
50. Do you prefer to keep books or give them away once you’ve read them?
51. Are there any books you’ve been avoiding?
52. Name a book that made you angry.
53. A book you didn’t expect to like but did?
54. A book that you expected to like but didn’t?
55. Favorite guilt-free, pleasure reading?
EVERY PERSON
EVERY SINGLE PERSON
WHO REBLOGS
WILL BE GIVEN A SUPER HERO/VILLAIN NAME
AND THEIR USELESS SUPER POWER
IN THEIR ASK
